Is failure an option?

Is failure an option? 

Unfortunately failure is not an option for most of us. We dreams big dreams of things we would like to accomplish, but don’t dare even put a single foot forward in an attempt to attain our dreams. Out of fear we might fail or dare I say, “look bad” to others if we do fail. We give loads of excuses as to why we won’t be good at whatever it is we are too afraid to attempt, and talk ourselves out achieving our goals. Eventually our dreams and goals fall by the way side, and we wake up with our self-worth hanging by a thread.

So why are we so afraid of failure anyway? Is failure really that bad? Does failure really mean that you are no good and it’s not worth trying again, or trying at all? Who came up with the idea that failure is a bad thing? I mean REALLY… Who came up with that idea?...

I think we learn to be afraid to try very early in life. We either don’t get the approval that we need to keep going, or we compare ourselves to others who might be better than us in that one area… To be honest there are many reasons why we are afraid to try anything new. But do we really ever stop to think about why we are holding ourselves back from accomplishment?

Most things in life have different degrees of difficulty. But if you never put an effort forth to try anything, how will you know if you can actually become good at it? Our scientists, cooks, engineers, doctors, teachers… fail all the time, have to start from scratch, try again, have to start from scratch again, and try again…. And eventually they come up with a solution. So why do we view failure as a bad thing?

In order to know how something doesn’t work, you need to fail at it first. Heck, a lot of times we find out through our failures how other things work better. So why do we allow ourselves to be stifled by FEAR of failure? I personally used to stop myself from dreaming at all, because I was so afraid of what others would think of me if I would fail. I felt picked on when I tried something new, when I wasn’t perfect the first time around, and so I decided it was not in best interest to even try. I look back now, and think how silly that was! The thought of valuing others opinions over my own and what I thought of myself is pretty scary! But the truth is a lot of people think and feel the same way I did, which is a real shame. No one should ever allow what others think about them, to hold them back from being successful!!

So how do we stop being afraid to dream? Being afraid to try? The best thing I can suggest is to forget trying to live up to others expectations of you. What they think or how they feel about you really doesn’t matter! It really comes down to what you think and how you feel about yourself! Take a moment and try wrap your brain around that!! I mean really WRAP YOUR BRAIN AROUND THAT!! Once you finally know you are worth the effort, you will be able to accomplish anything you put your mind to!!!

Ok, so once you figure out that you are important and worth attaining your dreams, whatever they may be! Then you will want to set some small goals for yourself. Most of us need time to work through old “head trash” and the best way to do this is through small, easy goals. You take one goal at a time. Figure out what it is going to take to achieve that goal, keeping in mind you are worth the effort! And then you try, and try again, until you achieve that one small goal. You may find that your goal was easier then you thought to achieve, or it may take you several tries to achieve it. However, keep in mind that when you fall down it is ok! Dust yourself off and get back to it and try again!! You will probably learn several ways something doesn’t work for you, narrowing down what will work best for you in the long run. This is actually good! And will help develop a sense of great accomplishment and self-worth once you have achieved your goal! Once you have completed the goal and are successful, you will know that you can try something else and be successful at that too! Thus creating a “snowball” effect (rolling a small snowball down a large hill, as it picks up momentum it gathers more snow and becomes a HUGE snowball!).

No matter what your dreams are, whether you want to learn how to handle finances better, become stronger physically, run a marathon, be a writer, go back to school, become a professional business person, be a better parent…  You need to remember that you are worth the effort and that you have what it takes to achieve your goals, even if you fail several times before you get your desired result! You don’t have to be perfect the first time. You just have to give yourself enough room to try and to keep working at whatever you want to do.